It’s October and it’s Breast Cancer Awareness month. It’s very important to note that Black women are still more likely to die from breast cancer than White women across the US, even though Black women have lower breast cancer incidence rates. (https://www.cancer.org/research/acs-research-news/breast-cancer-death-rates-are-highest-for-black-women-again.html)
There are varying factors as to why Black women have such dismal statistics but we can point to lack of access to testing, late stage testing and socioeconomic status as some causes.
I was diagnosed with a breast fibroadenoma in 2019 and at the time it was assumed benign and recommended that I get it biopsied. Well, I didn’t and went to the Cayman Islands instead. Sue me. Flash forward to a change in medical providers and my new PCP recommended that I get a mammogram again because over 40. (It’s recommended that women over 40, get a yearly mammogram) I did and the fibroadenoma was still there, it had gotten larger naturally and that Doctor again recommended a biopsy because also now she saw some concerning spots on my other breast but advised me not to be alarmed but she would do more in depth imaging which required me to get an IV that turned my entire body into an inferno for about 30 seconds but the purpose of it was to use contrast dye to highlight abnormal blood vessels or hyperactive tissues that can happen when cancers develop.
She took a look at it and didn’t make any diagnoses but also told me not to worry. But again stressed the importance of a biopsy because that was the only way to know for sure what it was she was seeing. Ok fine.
I scheduled the biopsy for like a month out and spent the upcoming weeks putting as many variations of questions in ChatGPT to better help me understand what the Doctor saw in the images. I was worried but I’m also the kind of person that accepts things and takes them in stride. I wouldn’t know peace until I got BOTH my breast biopsied. After like 3 days of my own research I resolved that I wasn’t going to make myself crazy self diagnosing something that wasn’t there and I wanted to be optimistic. And I refused to die from self neglect if it was breast cancer. I was gonna at least give myself a chance to detect it early and fight it, worst case scenario.
So I did get it biopsied. The appointment was cool. But more importantly than anything, the Dr was thee BEST Doctor I’ve been seen by EVER. She came rolling into the exam room on a scooter having just come back from vacation with a broken leg. She was so joyful, empathetic, an active listener and funny. (https://www.instagram.com/theboobiedocs?igsh=MWN2MWRndHB3b3V5bA==)
We got the biopsy under way and although everyone had warned me not to look up the process prior to, I did and despite the doctor warning me not to look at the biopsy needle. I did and it was then that I freaked out because I felt a lil blood. The radiologist and Resident Doctor worked quickly to wipe the blood. It took quite a long time but after getting the necessary number of cells needed for pathology, I was done. Cool. I got some steri-strips, after care instructions and I was on my way.
Got home and after the local anesthesia wore off, the biopsy sites hurt like hell. I was almost appalled at how bad they hurt. I spent the weekend in bed and drugged on Tylenol w/codeine.
By Tuesday the Doctor called to check on me which brings me to the point of this post. She asked me if I was ok and initially I said yes, I was fine. But somehow she asked again and I confessed that it actually hurt like shit and that I was in a lot of pain. She said, “noooo no no, it’s ok to say that it hurts” And in that moment that was the most reassured as a woman, as a person I’d felt in a long time.
I am someone who presents as very stoic, stable and resigned. I don’t often let emotion show, sometimes it feels like people think that I don’t have emotions. But for a few seconds someone allowed me to say “actually naw, I’m not cool and something hurts”. I’m not saying that that turned me into a cry baby overnight but it did speak to where I am in my life and navigating and prioritizing my own self care after years and years of self neglect and care of others. It was the comfort I needed and reminder that it’s ok sometimes to not be ok. It’s ok to feel things that hurt and it’s ok to be vocal about it as well.
Well 2 weeks later I got a call back from the same cheerful Doctor that both biopsies were benign. Non cancerous.
I could finally relax and take pride in the fact that I followed through with something uncertain, scary and hard and it had a positive outcome and it gave me some confidence in knowing that as I’m traveling on this new path, that I’m doing ok.
Long story short.
Get your boobies checked 🩷
Introverted and anti-social 