Today is March 15th, Pisces season. This day is always hit or miss. I was explaining to my bff how it’s like Mother’s Day for me. I never know if I’ll be paralyzed with grief or if I’ll feel a slight, uncomfortable pain and be able to push through. Grief is unpredictable like that.
Today would’ve been my girlfriend Bukola’s birthday and the sadness is immense. We talk about her constantly. We laugh at funny things and about how it’s so unfair that each year that passes is a year that she’s not here to celebrate her birthday. We do birthdays in our friend group, we celebrate them, we acknowledge them and one of our last memories of B is us getting together for a bday Happy Hour for her. Abby was behind the camera because she was pregnant and hadn’t made it public knowledge. We laughed until our jaws hurt that day and made plans for the summer. It was sunny and spring weather was trying to break through.
There were a few more times that we saw each other before the dreaded phone call and I’ll always hold them close to my heart. I was involved in a whole toxic relationship but in between that time I had a pool party at my house that allowed for us to see her, take pictures and laugh so I find it all joy for the relationship if not only for that. Unintended Purpose
I’ll never forget Bukola, especially her laugh. Her soul, her spirit. She was kind, she was gentle, she was smart, calm, brave, adventurous, she was witty. I never heard her speak negatively about anyone or anything. She was insanely optimistic. She inspired us, just by being herself. She just had such a lightness about her. She was love, the epitome of it.
People talk about salt of the earth and she was that.
She was light years ahead of us in life. She had done so much. She was constantly evolving and it’s heartbreaking to know that her life was cut so short and we’ll never get the chance to experience her full potential. She had so many, goals, dreams and aspirations. Even though she had done so much, she had a desire to do so much more.
As much as I hold her close to my heart, I wish that she would’ve gotten to meet the people she hadn’t met yet. She would’ve inspired them beyond measure.
That was my girl, from 8th grade teenagers. I wish I could spend all day writing about her. Her impact and how being able to love her and be loved by her changed my life, changed my perspective of womanhood, sisterhood and friendship. She was solid gold. It’s unfair that I’m speaking of her in past tense. It’s unfortunate how permanent death is.
Today is a sad day and I’ll allow myself to feel every part of it. I’ll think of her mother who used to live around the corner from me. Her siblings. Her nephews and her other girlfriends whose lives she also touched. I’ll never forget my friend, my sister. It was the greatest privilege to experience her in this life ❤️
Rest in eternal peace B
Introverted and anti-social 